I know I said I should be packing but decided to stop in again and say hello and share something that is on my heart. It is a burden I carry sometimes and yet I know there is hope.
Welcome again to the Fireside. The fire is very small this morning as it is so warm outside but gather around, say hello and introduce yourself to us all. The setting is the same as always, coffee, tea and yes this morning even some munchies.
Quigley is close at hand and ready for some play. Little changes in her world any toy means attention and I have a collection about my feet. I guess she thinks if she brings me the right one it may fly through the air.
We all have them and like others in our lives well they go in many different directions. Sometimes we are intertwined and other times well we all head in different directions. As sad as serious illness or death it can be a time of healing. All a person has to is ask, if it happens a new road called forgiveness, re-establishes trust is can come to the sincerity. Only then can the road to love be again one we can travel.
People should really be like pencils and have erasers. Speak something hurtful and with humiliation stop yourself and seek forgiveness. Really we do have erasers if we can learn to use them.
Lets Call Him Joe
Joe came into my life several months ago. We had met on a very casual basis at a community college. After some small talk it seemed like Joe had a few struggles in life and he shared them with me. I will not go into any great detail but after many phone calls I realized there was a pattern he had set in his life. I like to call it the “Blame Game” or pass the buck off on someone else and never once taking responsibility for himself or his own actions. You see Joe’s life was much like the bicycle rack in the photo it just kept coming back into itself over and over.
Each call would dredge up the past over and over again. As a friend I chose to listen, maybe it is a gifting I have no idea but I started to make note of the similarities he had patterned. I called Joe a month ago and suggested we have coffee.
After we had sat for a long while and I again listened I finally spoke and said “Joe please listen.” Much to Joe’s surprise he learned many things about himself that night. I was not rude, mean or judgemental just honest with the statement “The grave you have dug for yourself is deep and you are wallowing in your own pain.” I went on further to explain “A grave is no more than a rut, there is a way in and a way out if you chose to find it. All you need to do is look at a rut and the signs are there in the tracks. A way in and a way out Joe. Stop all the self pity and look at what you can do to find your way out.” Joe swallowed hard at those words. I went on to say. “Sometimes we need to look in the mirror to find the real problem. Personally Joe I think you have created this woodpile of problems and they are all your own making. Get a fire started and rid yourself of them.”
As you can well imagine Joe left in a bit of a huff over being confronted with what I said. I must tell you it has been a month since I heard from him even though I have attempted to call and email him.
This morning came the call. Joe started to talk about the journey he has been on and his dealing with all the issues. He said he still has some more work to do. “Rolly I must tell you what you told me about a rut being no more than a grave has proven itself many times over. I have been dealing with things in a different light and have made amends with many this past month and I thank you.”
Can life be unfair… of course it can. Can we change what has happened… yes if we choose to do so. Somethings we can not change but we have the option of changing our attitudes. If we travel the road of pity it requires us to feed the pity with more negative and damaging thoughts. This can lead to a state of depression where we fail to see the beauty all around us. Go this route in your journey and you will find yourself alone like Joe with no one to listen.
Joe’s closing words today “Rolly I take life over the death I was living. The wood pile is close to ashes thanks for being a friend.”
To me that means a great deal. You see I can see a new spark in Joe and the people around him. Joe will carry on and his life will change drastically but more so Joe will change others in his path.
Good on you Joe, you made a great day even better the road will become like a railway track. It can twist and bend but with the right attitude and self evaluation it will never turn full circle and come back at you.
© Rolly A. Chabot